


Green Grass

by PhoenixWytch



Series: Over the Rainbow [4]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Colours of the Rainbow: Green, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-07
Updated: 2009-08-07
Packaged: 2017-10-30 05:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/328330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixWytch/pseuds/PhoenixWytch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things are harder to deal with than grass stains.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Green Grass

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Mentalist_ or any of the characters from _The Mentalist_. If I did own them, Jane would be living with Lisbon and they would be kissing in every episode.

He tricked her again. Got her to let her guard down and then he walked away. It wasn't so bad at the beginning; they were playing and having fun. Now though, it hurts cause he just stops and leaves her behind. He just leaves her lying on the ground. Then the sprinklers turn on and she's grateful as the water hides her tears.

He glances back at her and he knows he should go back, but the little metal band on his ring finger taunts him with what could have been and what could be. He mind says he's not ready, but his heart knows the truth. He's a coward and conman, not the kind of man she deserves.

She just lies there on the green grass, letting the water soak her and wash away the tears. She's disappointed with both of them, him for not staying with her and herself for not being stronger willed to resist him. She waits for him to leave, so she can stumble home without making him feel worse. She knows he knows how she feels; she thought he might feel the same, but she seems to have been wrong.

He forces himself to continue walking away and he walks on until he finds a halfway decent bar. He orders his drink as he tries to close his heart to her. He knows if he lets her in that he will let his drive for revenge go. There won't be any room for it and he doesn't want to fail his family again. He twists his ring as he drinks and he drinks enough in a half hour to where he is able to cry. The barman, asks him for the number of someone to call for him to get a ride. He just pulls out his cell and hits a familiar speed dial.

Finally he's gone somewhere and she can stumble into her home. She strips out of her wet green stained clothes and hops into a warm shower before pull on some warm, dry pajamas. Now that she's in comfort clothes, she picks up the phone and orders her dinner of Chinese take out to be delivered in forty-five minutes. She settles into to putting around her space and trying to build up her defenses against him.

The person he called shows up at the bar and takes the seat next to him. He glances up and his friend takes one look at him before stating, "I'm taking you to her. This idea of yours is stupid and I'm tired of the both of you hurting. You both deserve to be happy and you both make each other happy."

She's got one of her favorite TV shows on and a soda out, when the doorbell rings. She glances at the clock and realizes it should be her dinner delivery. She grabs her money and plasters a smile on her face as she opens the door. Her smile slips when she sees who it is. She stares at him with fear in her eyes as he holds out the bag with her food.

His ride gets him there just as her food is about to be delivered and helps him convince the boy delivering to let him pay for it. He takes the bag before ringing her doorbell and waiting for her to show. His heart clenches at the site of her and breaks when he sees her fear. He knows he is the one that brought on the fear and it pains him to know he has hurt her so bad.

She wants to ask why he's here or yell at him to leave her alone, but before she has a chance to say anything he blurts out, "I'm sorry, Lisbon. I know that probably isn't good enough, but I-"

She cuts him off, her voice hard, "Just stop Jane. Just be quiet. I don't want some half-ass excuse or a planned out explanation. You made your feelings perfectly clear at the park. Don't worry. I am a big girl, I can deal with it."

His eyes flash with anger, and just a touch of hurt, at her words. Here he was trying to explain his actions and feelings, but she's refusing to listen. Though his conscience kicks him and yells at him that he'd do the same in her place. He drops the bag of food he’s holding and claps his hand over her mouth.

"No. No, Lisbon. I will not be quiet. I am going to explain and you will listen, truly listen to me. I left you because you deserve better than me. I'm broken Lisbon. Broken! You deserve someone that is whole and can give you all of themselves. I can only give you what's left of me. Part of me died when my wife and daughter were murdered and I can't give you that part. I'm not whole. You-"

Jane's cut off again, though this time it's from Lisbon's neighbor doing his nightly routine of checking the apartment complex. The old man glares at Jane before asking Lisbon if she wanted him to get rid of 'the stuffed peacock' of a young man. Lisbon pulls away from Jane to say thank you to the sweet old man, but that no she really wanted to talk to 'the stuffed peacock'. The man nods his understanding and goes about his business with one last glare at Jane.

"Just come in Jane. I don’t want anymore of my neighbors walking in on this. So we might as well do this inside."

Jane picks up the dropped bag and follows her into her home space. He hadn't meant to lose his control, it lead to him saying more than he had originally intended to say. His mind is racing to figure out the words to use to make Lisbon understand that he does care. That he wants to be with her, but he doesn't want to hurt her and he is sure he will.

Lisbon closes the door behind him and motions for him to follow her into her kitchen. His words are bouncing around in her mind, her heart breaking from the pain she heard in his voice. She knows now that he does care for her, wants her and maybe even needs her in some way. It's a hard concept for her to wrap her thoughts around. That the man who is known for his ability to control his emotions, could lose that control over her is a heady surprise.

"You know Mr. Jones is right, you are a stuffed peacock."

Jane smiles slightly, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Though he appreciates Lisbon's attempt at their normal banter. He knows they have to talk or this will just fester between them and ruin whatever relationship they have. So he sets the bag on her counter that works, hoping for inspiration to strike one of them and get them talking again.

"You're not the only one that is broken."

Lisbon looks at anything and everything besides Jane. She hates talking about her feelings, but she knows that if she wants Jane to talk that she has to talk too. Her thoughts are on how much they both hide from others, Jane behind his smile and her behind her duty.

"I might not have lost someone in the same way as you, but I have lost people I care for. My mother and father to death, my brothers to life and distance, my...my fiancé to another woman."

Her having had a fiancé surprises Jane. Not because he believes she has never been in a serious relationship, but because the man left her. He cannot understand why the man would leave Lisbon for someone else. Lisbon is so loyal, compassionate and strong. She would go to hell and back for those she cares for.

"I will never say that I understand what you have lost, because I don't. I can and will however say that I know about being broken. But Jane... _You_ are worth it to me, just as you are. Even broken, you are everything I want."

Jane's swallows what has become his natural reaction of lashing out when someone says they've lost people they care for or that they know what being broken is like as he listens to Lisbon. He knew she lost her mother in an accident and her father to his drinking, but he didn't know that she lost an idiot of an ex-fiancé or that she feels like she has lost her brothers.

He's not sure what to say, so he says nothing. Instead he wraps his arms around her and hopes she reads what he cannot say from his actions. She wraps her arms around him, telling she does understand he's unspoken words. He feels so good and she's so tired from trying to stay strong and hide what she feels all the time. She tries to hold her tears in, as she doesn't want him to see her cry, but she feels her resolve weaken and break as it does so often around him.

They just stand there in each other's embrace, taking comfort and wishing they could take the hurt from the other. She takes a deep breath, inhaling his unique comforting scent along with another mild scent of fresh green grass that slightly covers it. She pulls back, a small smile on her face.

He gives her a small grin as he reaches out with his left hand to wipe the tears that linger on her cheeks and lashes away. The overhead light catches his ring and he is flooded with guilt, toward both his wife and Lisbon. His grin falls away and he jerks his hand back.

"I can't..."

She nods her head in understanding, her grin gone, as she steps away from him. She won't push him; she knows he will move on when he's ready. Her eyes start to tear up again, so she turns her back to him, as she wants to be the one take helps him move on. She's just so tired of being hurt, but she can't stop herself from caring for him. He wraps his arms around her.

"Lisbon... Teresa, I can’t. Not with you, at least not as long as I wear her ring. I can't betray her in that way. As long as I wear her ring, I will not be with you because I will always put her first and you deserve better. A part of me will always love her, but I'm ready to move on. I just... I just need to take her ring off and I can't do it by myself."

He turns her to face him; he needs to see her face as he asks his question. Closing his eyes, he takes a breath to try and calm his racing heart. Her hands wrap around his as she watches him collect himself, unsure exactly what exactly he's going to ask.

"Would you be willing to help me take it off?"


End file.
